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Thursday, October 16, 2014


I wasn't planning on making another post so soon.  God has other things in his plan.  When he speaks, I listen.  So here's what happened:

I finished the last post, got my homework done, pureed pumpkin to take to a friend tomorrow, got the kids showered and in bed.  I laid in there watching The Bible on netflix via my tablet.  I just couldn't quite get relaxed into it tonight.  So with sleeping children in the house, I went in for a relaxing hot bath.  Normally this will calm me right?  Well, as I lay there in the hot water, conditioner in my hair, I heard these words, "YOU are more PRECIOUS than RUBIES"  and I knew that the Lord was telling me the truth for my next lie! 

Lie #2:  I am an unlovable, worthless person. 

TRUTH:  Proverbs 3: 15-- She is more precious than jewels and nothing you desire can compare with her. 

Proverbs 31:10-- An excellent wife who can find?  She is FAR more precious than jewels. 

1 Peter 1: 7-- so that the tested genuineness of your faith-- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 

For this one I needed to break down more than one word, really for myself, because I was interested in the hebrew for each word. 

Precious means of great value, not to be wasted or treated carelessly. 

The hebrew word is yaqar.  It means to be precious, prized, appraised, costly valued. 

jewel-- a precious stone, typically a single crystal or a piece of a hard lustrous or translucent mineral cut into shape with flat facets or smoothed and polished for use as an ornament. 

the hebrew word heder is a masculine noun meaning jewel, an ornament, adornment splendor.

To prove this was a lie, the Lord was telling me that I am more precious than jewels.  I am an ornament, I am precious.  I am of great value.  I am not to be wasted.  I am not to be treated carelessly.  I am prized.  I am appraised.  I am of costly value.  Wow how humbling is that?  When you are feeling down on yourself, feeling worthless, remember that to God you are of GREAT value.  You are the love of HIS life.  You were so valuable that he gave you a job to do.  He sent you to earth with a purpose to fill.  You are valuable! 

This was so very humbling for me because for years I have believed the lie from the enemy that I am worthless. This I can say with authority in Jesus Christ is a lie!  It is not true.  Each and every one of us are made unique.  God made us unique to fulfill a purpose and if we were not valuable He wouldn't have called us for the purpose he has called upon us to fulfill.  The Lord has a plan for my life just like he has a plan for yours. 

I come to you tonight humbly thanking you for speaking so clearly to me tonight.  Father, I know that I am valuable.  I am precious.  I am like a ruby.  I should be shined and showed off not thrown in the closet and hidden.  I am yours Lord!  Mold me and make me like the refiner refines gold.  Like the potter works clay.  Thank you Lord for your blessings.  I pray now for anyone who may see this tonight, tomorrow, years down the road.  I pray that you would bring this posting to them when they are in their darkest hour.  I pray that it would speak to them just like you spoke to me.  I am a daughter of the King!  I am a precious princess.  Thank you Jesus! 


Who am I???

This is a question I have been asking since as far back as I can remember.  I never really understood who I was.  I never really took a stand for who I was.  Never really said this is me take it or leave it.  I more of just kind of melted into the crowd.  Did what others deemed acceptable not what I deemed acceptable.  Over the last few years, this just continued on a downward spiral.  I allowed others to dictate who I should be.  This is not what I wanted in my life. 

After years of this abusive behavior I had decided that I needed to reach out to a friend.  I did this a few weeks ago while she was on a mission trip.  I was too embarrassed by the fact that I needed help that I couldn't even find the bravery to go ahead and talk to her while she was here.  I had to cop out and wait til she was gone.  I know, it's the looser's way out right?  NOPE!  That's a lie that the enemy wants me to believe, well, let me tell you, NO MORE! 

After meeting for coffee and having a long discussion, she asked me to buy a book.  It's called "The Search For Significance"  by Robert S. McGee.  So I went home and purchased it.  I was actually excited about getting this book.  I didn't know why, but I knew I needed this book.  So, our plan is to go through week by week and do one chapter a week.  In addition to my regular school work, I will be having "homework" to work on with this book.  I will be taking the lies of the enemy and pairing them with a truth from the Lord from the bible.  And further, I will take the main point of that truth, look up the meaning in english, then look it up in the hebrew and really dig in to learn how that truth applies to my life and why that lie is a lie.  So, as I go on this journey, I want to share some of those truths with you. 

Lie #1:  God doesn't reallyl care about me.  Really, now, enemy, you expect me to believe that?  Come on!  TRUTH:  For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only son, that who so ever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16.  This verse has true meaning for me.  First of all, it was the first verse Pastor Jake ever had me memorize.  He knew way back then that I, as a 9 year old, needed to know that I am loved.  When I have nothing else, I have the LOVE of the Lord. 

So, what does love mean?  The dictionary defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection.  So, I give you this, in the world, we see love in the eyes of newlyweds.  Children toward their parents and their parents toward their children.  We see it in the form of gifts, hugs, kisses, and words of affection.  But what does LOVE really mean?  For this I went looking for the hebrew word for love.  I found that ahavah is the hebrew word for love.  In hebrew it is defined as a feminine noun describing the love of husband toward wife, God's love for his people and deep abiding friendship.  See, the bible points love in numerous ways, but my favorite to really dig into is Ephesians 5:25.  "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,"  here we learn just how deeply Christ's love for us is.  See, WE are the church.  CHRIST LOVED US THAT MUCH!  wow!  How humbling is that?  Christ calls our husbands to love us just as he loves the church.  Holy moly that's a lot of love going on!  And to think that Christ is God.  God is Christ.  They are one in the same.  Christ loves the church, I am the church, therefore he loves me!  

Reminds me of a song, Jesus loves me this I know BECAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!  Now, there will be times when the enemy wants me to think that Jesus Christ doesn't love me, but you wanna know what, NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT LIE!  

For other verses you can look up please see:  Ephesians 2:4-5, Zephaniah 3:127, Romans 5:8, 1 Peter 5:6-7, Psalm 86a;15, and Romans 8:37-39

It is my prayer that through learning about the lies the enemy is telling me that I can help someone else who is also hearing those same lies.  Opening up to all of you is hard, but I know that the Lord needs to reach someone.  I wasn't going to post any of this online, but then I heard a still small voice saying that someone needed what I had learned.  I pray that whomever it is sees this or is directed to it, and that that person comes to know just how much the Lord loves them.  

Love to you all,