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Thursday, October 16, 2014

Who am I???

This is a question I have been asking since as far back as I can remember.  I never really understood who I was.  I never really took a stand for who I was.  Never really said this is me take it or leave it.  I more of just kind of melted into the crowd.  Did what others deemed acceptable not what I deemed acceptable.  Over the last few years, this just continued on a downward spiral.  I allowed others to dictate who I should be.  This is not what I wanted in my life. 

After years of this abusive behavior I had decided that I needed to reach out to a friend.  I did this a few weeks ago while she was on a mission trip.  I was too embarrassed by the fact that I needed help that I couldn't even find the bravery to go ahead and talk to her while she was here.  I had to cop out and wait til she was gone.  I know, it's the looser's way out right?  NOPE!  That's a lie that the enemy wants me to believe, well, let me tell you, NO MORE! 

After meeting for coffee and having a long discussion, she asked me to buy a book.  It's called "The Search For Significance"  by Robert S. McGee.  So I went home and purchased it.  I was actually excited about getting this book.  I didn't know why, but I knew I needed this book.  So, our plan is to go through week by week and do one chapter a week.  In addition to my regular school work, I will be having "homework" to work on with this book.  I will be taking the lies of the enemy and pairing them with a truth from the Lord from the bible.  And further, I will take the main point of that truth, look up the meaning in english, then look it up in the hebrew and really dig in to learn how that truth applies to my life and why that lie is a lie.  So, as I go on this journey, I want to share some of those truths with you. 

Lie #1:  God doesn't reallyl care about me.  Really, now, enemy, you expect me to believe that?  Come on!  TRUTH:  For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only son, that who so ever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16.  This verse has true meaning for me.  First of all, it was the first verse Pastor Jake ever had me memorize.  He knew way back then that I, as a 9 year old, needed to know that I am loved.  When I have nothing else, I have the LOVE of the Lord. 

So, what does love mean?  The dictionary defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection.  So, I give you this, in the world, we see love in the eyes of newlyweds.  Children toward their parents and their parents toward their children.  We see it in the form of gifts, hugs, kisses, and words of affection.  But what does LOVE really mean?  For this I went looking for the hebrew word for love.  I found that ahavah is the hebrew word for love.  In hebrew it is defined as a feminine noun describing the love of husband toward wife, God's love for his people and deep abiding friendship.  See, the bible points love in numerous ways, but my favorite to really dig into is Ephesians 5:25.  "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,"  here we learn just how deeply Christ's love for us is.  See, WE are the church.  CHRIST LOVED US THAT MUCH!  wow!  How humbling is that?  Christ calls our husbands to love us just as he loves the church.  Holy moly that's a lot of love going on!  And to think that Christ is God.  God is Christ.  They are one in the same.  Christ loves the church, I am the church, therefore he loves me!  

Reminds me of a song, Jesus loves me this I know BECAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!  Now, there will be times when the enemy wants me to think that Jesus Christ doesn't love me, but you wanna know what, NO I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT LIE!  

For other verses you can look up please see:  Ephesians 2:4-5, Zephaniah 3:127, Romans 5:8, 1 Peter 5:6-7, Psalm 86a;15, and Romans 8:37-39

It is my prayer that through learning about the lies the enemy is telling me that I can help someone else who is also hearing those same lies.  Opening up to all of you is hard, but I know that the Lord needs to reach someone.  I wasn't going to post any of this online, but then I heard a still small voice saying that someone needed what I had learned.  I pray that whomever it is sees this or is directed to it, and that that person comes to know just how much the Lord loves them.  

Love to you all, 

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