Days, they come and they go

 As you are well aware, days may come and days may go, but the important thing is that we follow through on our promises. Just as the Lord follows through on His promises, we must also. This is why it is 9:31 pm and I am just getting to chat with you a little bit. It's been a busy week and and even busier day. However, I am not going to sit here and allow the fact that I am a busy working mom prevent me from entering a journal (blog) entry. So, how did my day go? 

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

My day started like no other, it started the night before as I lay in bed trying to calm my nerves. I used to be active in my church. I volunteered on a regular basis. I went to church every Sunday and served on Thursdays (our mid-week service at that church). There came a time when I felt like my generosity was being taken advantage of and after moving out of Florida in 2015, I didn't really settle on another church. God had other plans in mind for me though. 

Since moving to Greenville, SC in April of 2019, the Lord has been guiding me to Greenville First Assembly. At first, I resisted because I was afraid that I would have another situation where I would feel like I was being taken advantage of. Then it was that we only had one car and so getting to church on a regular basis would be a challenge. Next, I allowed the idea that I was in college to dictate what I would and wouldn't do. All of these things culminated in COVID-19 shutting the state down last year. I had watched online here and there. Even when I missed a service, I'd go to the app on my phone and watch the service. Slowly, I was realizing that not only was the Lord calling me, but he was softening my heart to becoming part of a new church family. 

I continued to interact online with the church community. Sunday, I watched live and participated in the tailgate events by submitting a picture of Mack in her Eastside shirt for the team picture giveaway they were hosting. I had made up my mind that I was going to join the Wednesday women's group on a study and see how I liked the church. 

So now that you're up to speed, I can tell you about what I was feeling last night. I was all but trembling with fear about going to the church today. I was worried about my outward appearance. How would I be accepted when I am overweight and I wear sketchers sandals (literally everywhere). I don't drive a BMW (a ton of people do here, because we have a plant here that manufactures them), instead I drive a 2016 Chevy Equinox. I don't have brand name, brand new clothes. As I went to bed, I was worrying, but the Lord brought me to Isaiah 41:10. He wouldn't stop saying it until I had read the verse. It reminded me of those t-shirts we all wore when I was in high school (yes, I'm about to give my age away). They said fear not on the front and had a positive something on the back. I remember mine like it was yesterday. It was like a slate gray. I wore that thing til it fell apart. I want my no fear shirt back. 

I fall asleep finally and at 4 am, I hear something and wake up to find Mack standing in our doorway crying. She was trembling in fear because a nasty round of thunderstorms had woken her. She's still terrified of storms and so it was one of them nights. Ryan left the bed and she crawled in. She grasped my hand like nothing I've ever felt before and fell asleep in bed with her momma. Ryan went off to work and as I got the kids and I up at 7, again, I hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit saying to focus on Isaiah 41:10 today because everything was going to be okay. 

Kids are off to school now and I make my coffee, listen to my daily devotional through the bible app, and read Isaiah 41:10 yet again. Off to work I go and I declare that today is going to be a good day and BAM - tree people come and take down a tree that falls within just a few feet of my car and my downstairs neighbor's car. I go running down to move the Chevy as she moves her Seltos to the farthest spots in our parking pad that we could. Our cars were safe. I go back to work and one of my coworkers asks me what I have planned. I confess that I'm questioning going to women's group because I've been worried about going on site because I literally know not one woman in the church. I hadn't connected with anyone that goes there. 

Work is done. Maddie is taking her daily nap (seriously, what 15-year-old takes a nap daily???) and Kenzie is having some decompress time as she's only been home from school for about 15 minutes at this point. I find what I'm going to wear. I'm stepping out in faith that the Lord is going to connect me with a great group of women. I leave at about 10 after 6. After all, we are less than a mile from the church. I get there and open my email to look at the leader's directions for finding the room. She thought it would have a sign out there, it didn't. But, around the corner comes my answer. I recognize her from seeing her preaching. It's the lead pastor's wife. I ask her where Sisterhood is meeting and she introduces herself and takes me to the door I'd passed by. She is seriously the cutest and sweetest gift God could have given. 

I sit in the room waiting for it to begin and she and I chat a little. She said she thought she recognized me. I said "maybe online" and then we go through introductions when the group gets here. It turns out I'm not the first new person in the group tonight. There was a young woman whose parents had died and she took custody of her two younger siblings, she was new to the church and area. Women from all walks were in the room and introducing themselves. I felt like I could maybe grow to love these women. At the end of the lesson as Brittani is about to dismiss, she said if anyone wanted the week's homework printed, she'd be happy to. Before I could even go up to her and tell her I think I know how she "knows" me, she approached and asked if I wanted an extra book she had. Someone had bought an extra and asked her to donate it to one of the women tonight. This was totally God's timing. You see, I was going to order one on payday, tomorrow. 

The morale of my story is that life happens. Storms come in all shapes and sizes. However, with the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Another wonderful woman once told me to step out bold. To do it afraid. Although I hadn't stepped foot in a women's group in well over 5 years and I was really worried about going, I was obedient to the Lord and I went. I was blessed for it. I was loved on. And I came home realizing that every time I passed that church and every time I watched a sermon online was an opportunity for me to connect with these wonderful people. 

Whatever it is in your life you are struggling with, pray over it (as I have for more than 2 years) and then take the first step. God is calling you to whatever plan he has for you. You just have to step out boldly and walk with Him.